Practice Schmacktice- Part 6 - Hammer Stories
Rockers, Squawkers and a Few Real Shockers to the Band and their Fans.
When we last checked in Hammer had some friends stopping by to watch the band rehearse.
The timid June and her adventurous pals were about to descend into the basement of the ominous Philo House.
Click below if you need to review last week’s cartoon before jumping further down.
The story continues below as the ladies fumble along in the dark and forbidding cellar.
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Poor, mold-blinded Cubbie has ventured into “The Door That Shall Remain Closed.” What fate will become of him? What other dilemmas will befall the band? Will they manage to get their hands on a good allergy medicine and some good calamine lotion to deal with the “Super Hives” they’ve contracted?
Stay tuned! All these questions and more will be answered in the next installment of “Practice Schmacktice!”
Speaking of story lines
I’m at a point of crossroads in this tale where I have a choice in terms of story direction.
I could keep this in a more “Rock and Roll” based world.
I could go full-on Lovecraftian with the story and create more of a Horror-comedy.
Or, I could just go totally nutty with keen Swiftian satirical metaphor.
What direction do you, the reader, think this story should head in? I would love to hear your opinions in the comments section. If it’s a good enough plot line I might even steal…er… “borrow” it.
On a related note: A compiled PDF of the complete Hammer Stories comic with new title cover and chapter pages will be going out to paid subscribers at the conclusion of this story.
Every good story has a few grains of truth behind it and so does this one.
In this tale, Philo House was, and still is, a well known home in Elmira, NY. It actually was the place where Hammer rehearsed.
Here’s a page from Star-Gazette, a local Elmira paper, which did a feature on the remodeling of the house in 2007.
However in 1979-1981 when Hammer was making use of the basement for band rehearsals, the home’s condition was badly in need of some TLC. This was in part becuase of age and lack of upkeep, but also in part because it was a local party house of some renown.
Not only did Hammer make use of its basement for band rehearsal but so did about two or three other bands. These bands also played upstairs, or outside on the porch, whenever there was a party, and boy howdy, there were lots of parties.
The wood floors in that residence were practically shellacked with beer.
Now as for the basement mold situation to some extent that is also true.
Cubbie (a.k.a. “the Author”) discovered this during his first day of rehearsal in the basement. After the practice loosened some of the crud from the walls and into the air, a wonderful case of hives showed up on Cubbie’s arms and body.
Of course, none of the other band member shared his sensitivity to these cellar dwelling molds. This was yet another of life’s many cruel ironies dealt his way.
But thankfully after donning hazmat overalls and gloves, he was able to effectively sanitize every inch of that basement with gallons of bleach for a future of care free band practices.
Since that time, Cubbie has made a living by renting out his oddball allergies to wherever there’s a need for a human canary in the coal mine. Three Mile Island, Love Canal, The World Trade Center debris, or anywhere there’s a secretly buried chemical waste dump are all suitable locations to engage his toxin detection talents.
The unfortunate sap can’t even stand being in a room with an unlit floral scented candle.
What a life.
May you have an itch-free day,
Maybe make Cubbie feel better by signing up to get these comics into your email inbox.
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