As we waltz our way between religious holidays this week, I thought I’d take the detour into some seriously warped theology this week. If you are easily offended by satires of dogma, philosophy and theology, you might want to change the channel.
Then again, if you been following my cartoons for a while then you know what kind of lunacy to expect.
Let’s start things off with a comic that treads probably a bit too much on the borderline of a Chick comic. (More on that below.)
This comic was a response to our country’s horrific school shootings, its insane obsession with guns, and how certain sects of Christianity have let their doctrines become perverted by capitalistic, immoral ideas which turn everything upside down: Greed and materialism are good; Guns and corrupt politicians are to be objects of idolatry; And our beautiful Earth is a giant toilet to be ruined since some supposed better afterlife is waiting for those who drive gas guzzling, polluting super trucks.
Anyhow, this comic is my little way to deal with those toxic mindsets.
If you would like an actually printed copy of this mini 28pg comic so you can send it to that special uncle who annoys the crap out of you, now you can! I figure $3 would cover the printing and the postage for mailing you a couple copies. Here’s a link to buy it with Stripe or Paypal.
Now let’s get back to the theistic fun…
Brad complained with a palpable annoyance, “Why does is seem like we always go to Zog’s place for game night?”
“Because their Mom makes all kinds of snacks plus serves up an amazing Ambrosia salad, duh.” Shel responded.
“Oh, here we go with the pronouns again” Brad sneered, “What’s Zog this week? A tri-male? A quadrapole? An Amoeba?”
Cal shot back, “You’re just jealous because you live in a tiny little universe with all the diversity of lint.”
“Well excuse me! I’m perfectly happy with my little pocket universe!” Brad responded and slumped in his chair.
“Sounds to me like you lash out because you’re trying to over-compensate. Universe Envy much?” Cal quipped, “By the way, where’s Adonai?”
“He said he was running late because of work.” Zog said as he walked down the stairs carrying a huge bowl of ambrosia salad. After setting it on the table, he continued, “That guy never gets a break. Of course it’s all his own fault. You’d think he would have figured things out by now.”
Just then a stressed out Adonai marched down the stairs to the basement.
“Sorry. Sorry, everybody. Work’s been hell this week. Of course, Hell’s been hell also.” Adonai apologized and sat down on the couch as he continued.
“What was I thinking when I made that damn planet!”
“Earth again?” asked Brad.
“Yep. Friggin’ Earth. Everything was going fine, I had some fun making dinosaurs…”
“…until you accidentally threw that meteor.” Shel added.
“Yeh, my bad. They were a lot of fun. But then I had that genius idea to let monkeys play with tools. Then tossed in a bit of free will into the mix to see what happens, and next thing you know, the damn planet, in the whole of my universe, is my biggest pain in the ass!” Adonai grabbed a handful of Ambrosia and tossed it down.
“USE A SPOON!” The rest screamed at him.
“Sorry! I tell you those Humans were a huge mistake. Do you know that I had to rebuild that planet 5 times this week? The stupid monkeys kept blowing it up! Even worse every time I remade the planet, the Humans seemed to get dumber and dumber!”
Brad wisecracked, “Well there’s your problem! You’re making a copy of a copy of a copy! It’s like recording over old cassette tapes! They’re not as good as the original copy!”
“Dammit! You’re right.” Adonai exclaimed. “I guess tomorrow I need to scrap it all and go back to dinosaurs.”
Zog interjected, “That’s why I made my universe 95% Dinosaurs…and the other 5% is Silly Putty. Who doesn’t love Silly Putty?”
“That’s explains why getting to your place is such a hassle.” Cal mumbled through a mouth full of Ambrosia. “Now, what game should we play tonight? Trouble? Risk? Monopoly?”
Adonai loudly stated “I say CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY!”
The various universes rumbled with the sounds of laughter while in a small section of the Milky Way, the planet Earth blew up…again.
Here’s an additional little lighthearted entertainment to round out this godly fun pack. It’s called “goD-Dog.”
I hope you enjoyed my humble offerings of comedy this week. May you have a wonderful Spaghetti Saturday or Easter. Just be sure to avoid inviting zombie Jesus to dinner.
Chick Comics are those crazy evangelical mini comics created by Jack Chick in the 1960s and they were, and still are, all kinds of hell fire and brimstone toxic condemnations of just about everything and everyone.
A big nod to my pal, and spiritual video mentor, Dave Channon who inspired this story with his God Dog character from his hilarious Volcanic Video shows that were on Manhattan Public Access. If you ever needed a guy to go into the dark recesses of funny offensive videos, he’s your man! Hats off to you, buddy.
I hate the movie dogma - as an aside. Does anyone like that movie ?
Wow! I looked at this and said, "Oh my! A Chick parody!" but it was much more and deeper. Thank you!