The Three Headed Snake of Lies

Truths to counter the Republican lies about immigrants.

This post is more commentary than comedy so I apologize if you’re expecting a laugh. Those will come later in the week.

My post today shares an observation and some truths inspired by a festival I attended this past weekend.

Performers at the Woodburn, OR Fiesta Mexicana

This past Saturday, my wife and I decided to check out a couple of festivals in central Oregon.

We first drove to the Swan Island Dahlia Fest in Canby. You'd love this flower farm's annual event if you're a flower enthusiast like my wife. I also enjoy looking at the complexity and variety of these flowers. Our dog Zeke, who was also along for the ride. He enjoyed the flowers, but mostly for their ability to withstand his pee.

However, I really looked forward to our second stop of the day: the Fiesta Mexicana in Woodburn.

We first attended it in 2021, when the pandemic had scaled it back to a much smaller event. Because of this and a lack of my reading about newer events, we were surprised this year at how large the crowd was at the fiesta. I should have known better since Woodburn is in the heart of Oregon's agricultural center and has a vast Mexican/LatinX population. We ended up parking about a quarter mile away from the Fiesta. Thankfully, temperatures were in the mid-70s, so the walk was no big deal, and off we trotted to check out the fest.

When we got to the street where the fiesta was taking place, it was jam-packed with people lined up to watch a parade, which was to happen later in the day. The festival organizers might have moved up the timing of events that day due to a big storm that would hit later in the afternoon.

One of the dancers taking a break and watching the crowd

Anyhow, Deb, Zeke, and I waded through the crowd and saw the sights. Low Rider cars bounced down the street, tossing candy out their windows for the kids along the street. Trucks adorned in Mexican flags pulled trailers featuring various cultural and social organizations. Musical and rap artists also performed from the backs of pickups.

Along the side of the road, various cultural dancers and musicians were playing and practicing their performances on the grass. Guys in devil masks and hairy chaps danced around snapping whips to the sound of the Mexican Bandas. Some were only accompanied by only a guitarist and fiddle player. Others were dressed in older Aztec costumes and dancing to the beat of a drummer.

A young girl waiting to jump into the dance.

Overall it was a blast to watch the festivities. The only disappointment came when we approached the fiesta entrance. There was a big sign that said “No Animales.” Again, we should have known, but Zeke has become such a part of us that no trip is complete without our little furry pal. But sadly, this time, we had to turn around and work our way back through the crowd, and back to our car to continue our adventures elsewhere.

As we walked through the crowd and I watched all the happy latino faces, proud to celebrate their culture, It made me realize just how necessary immigrant cultures and people are to the United States.

Let’s be honest; this country was built by immigrants (and lamentably, forced immigrants, i.e. slaves). In the present day, our capitalist economy couldn’t function correctly without a large immigrant population. Our culture, music, and food would also be dull, bland, and sad without the influences immigrant populations have brought to our shores.

Looking over the Fiesta crowd, it got me thinking further. Then that thought turned to rage. Rage at how Republicans could be foolish enough to think that deporting millions of people will somehow usher in their idea of utopia.

If anything, it will create a nightmare, and Republicans want us to embrace their nightmare—under the guise of their three-headed snake of lies.

The first Republican snake head tells you that immigrants are “taking your jobs.” But in fact, our nation’s undocumented, as well as documented immigrants, grow and harvest the food we eat, work difficult construction jobs, and work at taking care of our young and elderly. They pay billions in taxes. They also start businesses that employ other Americans. To deport millions of these workers would sink the US economy for decades and usher in massive price inflation. You think eggs are expensive now, wait until there’s no farm help to harvest them. ¹

Republicans spew that other Americans will fill in this employment gap, but it simply isn’t true. Do you honestly think someone like, for example, your dipstick video game-obsessed nephew will suddenly want to work in a meat processing plant? It ain’t gonna happen.²

The second Republican snake head hisses that immigrants are “poisoning the blood of our country” or are rapists and murderers. Do I really need to tell you just how blatantly racist this is? Obviously this isn’t true and the overwhelming majority of Immigrants are hard working, good people.

Unfortunately, this kind of propaganda isn’t new to the American landscape and has been with us since our funding.

Racism is America’s original sin, and Republicans don’t want you to acknowledge that, or move past it. It make it easier for them to control you.

With that said, If you’re ever walking down the street and overhear some Republican clown blathering this racist nonsense, please do me a favor and kick them square in the nuts. With any luck, you’ll prevent them from extending their own idiotic lineage.

The third Republican snake brags that deporting millions will help grow the middle class and bring back well-paying jobs. This snake is also lying. By deporting millions of tax-paying workers, Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and other programs that benefit all Americans would quickly go bankrupt and end, thereby plunging millions of Americans into poverty. Also, our infrastructure of roads and bridges in need of repair, plus any building of new housing would practically come to a standstill thanks to a lack of funds and workers.

Does the average Republican honestly think that any billionaire or millionaire won’t take advantage of this situation and rig the system to make themselves even more wealthy as they exploit citizen based labor? As it stands, if Trump's great deportation scheme comes to pass, the profiteers are already lining up to make billions from private prisons, ICE contracts, and deportation transportation.

How Republicans think that a country can function without a proper tax base is a level of delusion worthy of Homer’s Lotus Eaters.

So there you have it—the three-headed snake laid bare, which, we hope, will get beheaded in November.

If not, our country is facing a very dire future, which will also be excruciatingly bland and lifeless without the much-needed spirit and culture that immigrants bring.

I’ll end this on a happy note with a video from the Fiesta that I caught on my phone. For some reason, my camera captured it in slow-mo without sound therefore I jazzed it up a touch. I call it “Los Pisadores de Serpientes” or The Snake Stompers.

Adios until the next post, mis amigos.

Ed

1. For more info on this topic read the latest Mother Jones magazine.

2. Sidenote: In all likelihood my nephew would probably hire someone to take his place in the meat processing plant and split the profits, which he’d then spend on booze and trips to Vegas. Ha! Rotten kid. Love ya, buddy.